I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
