Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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