I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
