i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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