Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
