Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
