Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
