I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize