Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
