don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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