How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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