Having a random hookup so left but love u
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
