Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
