never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
