Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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