and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
