I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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