Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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