I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize