David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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