So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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