I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
