I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we're making bets on your personal life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
