Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
