Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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