Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
