I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
