I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
