it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cut my penus on the lid.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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