you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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