his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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