How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
