Welp...herpes.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
