obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
