im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
