Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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