Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i will never coherently bang her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
