absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
