last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
