no. you can't hotbox the world.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This baby is an asshole
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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