I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
