That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
