Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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