you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
