so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
