I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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