I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
