I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
