is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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