Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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