I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
