so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
