like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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