You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
