I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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