Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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