Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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