I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
