end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
