So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
