matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
