The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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