Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
