Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
