i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
