..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize