we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
