ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize