I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
