Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
