Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
