He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
