I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
