dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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