Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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