his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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